«

»

Insanity

My adventures of being pushed to the brink of insanity began in March 2003 on a sunny day around lunch time. On Fridays, I worked at home and this was a typical Friday except I was eight months pregnant.
While making the bed in my room, Paul entered and scared the hell out of me. One glance at his face and I began crying hard. I knew he had been laid off from his job. Little did I know this was the trigger of many hellish days in the next 18 months.


My adventures of being pushed to the brink of insanity began in March 2003 on a sunny day around lunch time. On Fridays, I worked at home and this was a typical Friday except I was eight months pregnant.
While making the bed in my room, Paul entered and scared the hell out of me. One glance at his face and I began crying hard. I knew he had been laid off from his job. Little did I know this was the trigger of many hellish days in the next 18 months.
Since this was my third child, I was in no hurry to have the baby and wanted to cherish every bit of the pregnancy as if it was my last. On Saturday morning, April 26, we went to the hospital with our second child for sibling class. I was miserable because I had been having a bad case of hemorrhoids. I was no stranger to it after having two other kids. It usually went away after treatment. Not this time. It had been a week and it was not getting better.
Later that night, the pain became unbearable and we debated whether or not I should go to the ER. We finally decided for me to go. The ER is nothing like the TV show. No running around and people sitting in the waiting room. I couldn’t get comfortable, but I found two chairs and lay down.
After an hour, I finally got in and they sent me up to the maternity floor. The on duty OB came in and said a specialist will see me the next day. So I spent the night. At least, I felt better knowing I did the right thing going to the ER.
The specialist came in and did his examination. “Wow! Impressive,” he said. It turned out my case was in the one percent of the worst cases. He wanted to do surgery right away, but we wanted my OB’s opinion before proceeding. The OB was returning from an overseas vacation on Monday, so another night at the lovely hospital inn.
The OB came straight to the hospital from the airport. We decided to deliver the baby by C-section and then have the hemorrhoidectomy immediately after. It was about 2 1/2 weeks before my due date. I was disappointed to end my pregnancy early, but it had to be done.
The C-section went well and the doctors lifted my newborn son over the curtain so I could see his face. After that, the next team came in and did the second surgery.
It took six weeks to recover and for the pain to lessen. I couldn’t hold the baby without help. When I started feeling better, my back decided to take a vacation and went out like never before. I couldn’t walk straight up. Though I’ve had back pain off and on for years, this was the worst. I went to see a chiropractor who took care of the problem, which took about a month.
I recovered just in time for another surgery, a cochlear implant. The surgery went well and I felt OK when I came home on the day of the surgery.
Next day… wham! I was in ocean city experiencing severe vertigo. Just sitting in bed with my eyes closed, the waves of vertigo were like a tsunami. After a couple of days, it subsided enough that I could sit up and watch TV. Once again, I was bedridden and it took over a month for me to get strong enough to move around the house.
I went back to work in October, but it was stressful being the sole breadwinner considering all the health challenges I had. We prayed for a better year in 2004.
It was not to be. My older son began acting out in school. He had behavior problems off and on for over a year, but it was getting worse. We went to a behavior specialist to get advice on how to help him and worked with him for several months with little improvement. It was time to try medication.
After a couple of months, he made little progress and was unhappy at pre-school. The school removed him in late April. It was horrible. But eventually I accepted it wasn’t a good place for him anymore. By mid-summer, I was panicking because he is supposed to go to a new school as he was entering kindergarten. We couldn’t have him acting like this.
A miracle happened in July. He returned to his sweet self within a couple of days after his first dose of a new drug. Thanks to his wonderful teacher, he got off to a great start in his new school and was finally happy.
Before I got pregnant with the baby, I had problems in the female zone. However, we agreed to hold off until after I had another child. By July 2004, I was so uncomfortable, so it was time to do the surgery. The surgery was on Thursday, August 26, and went well. Of course, I had healing to do.
I took the day off from work and went back the following Wednesday. On Thursday, I had to leave early because I was miserable. On Friday, I was sitting down when suddenly, I felt a warm gush and realized I was hemorrhaging.
I panicked while Paul was calm and took care of the mess. I went into the bathroom and put my feet up to try to stop it, or at least slow it down. It wasn’t working, so off to the ER. Once again, I had to wait and the waiting room was surprisingly crowded in the early afternoon. (Later, I learned people go to the ER on a long weekend – it was Labor Day weekend – to get a note from the doctor to excuse them from work. I couldn’t believe people would do this and cause people with real problems to wait.)
My blood count had gone from 40 before the surgery to 30 at the ER. The OB came in and packed the area, which had been a successful 99 percent of the time. Less than 20 minutes after this, I continued hemorrhaging and felt it everywhere. Within a few hours, my blood count went from 30 to 27 and they took me to the operating room where they doctor put some stitches and finally stopped the bleeding.
The blood count was down to 22. No transfusion. But I was scared out of my wits when I suffered a severe headache and couldn’t do anything but curl up and close my eyes. Turned out to be a sinus infection. Between that and the low blood, it was no surprise I had a bad headache.
By now, I’m losing it. Paul out of work for over a year and my continued health problems. When was it going to stop??? Not yet. I found out my sinus infection wasn’t gone after two weeks and got more medicine. Then the next day, I had a virus. Oh, and my back went out again. BAD. Back to the chiropractor.
I went back to work this week after three weeks off. I realized maybe it was meant to be for Paul to be laid off. Since I couldn’t take care of the kids, it gave him the time to do that. If he had a job, he wouldn’t get home early enough to take the kids to their activities.
Enough is enough. Time for someone to hire this great guy and me get strong and stay well. When I think about how rough things are, I remind myself that I have a great husband, three wonderful kids, and amazing support from my family. I am amazed that despite these obstacles and reaching the brink of insanity that I managed to keep it together most of the time. We hope that 2005 will be a great year.

5 comments

Skip to comment form

  1. Bert

    You’ve had a rough time of it. Hang in there Meryl.

  2. Charone

    Whoa, that was definitely a rough time. I’m glad you were able to make it through.

  3. RobinP

    That sucks!! Just when you thought it was going to get better it got worse.I hate when that happens.
    the love of your family will always keep you strong. Hang in there!

  4. The Zero Boss

    Blogging for Books #4: Chock Full o’ Entries!

    Thanks to all of those who submitted entries to this month’s emotionally draining installment of Blogging for Books. We had fewer entries than usual, but what we did get was…well, read ’em and weep. Words cannot do these words justice. If you submitt…

  5. The Zero Boss

    Blogging for Books #4: Chock Full o’ Entries!

    Thanks to all of those who submitted entries to this month’s emotionally draining installment of Blogging for Books. We had fewer entries than usual, but what we did get was…well, read ’em and weep. Words cannot do these words justice. If you submitt…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>